


Choosing Hope

by sassy_cissa



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Draco/Astoria - Freeform, Harry/Ginny - Freeform, M/M, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-27
Updated: 2012-08-27
Packaged: 2017-11-12 23:45:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/497002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sassy_cissa/pseuds/sassy_cissa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i> Once you choose hope, anything's possible.</i> ~Christopher Reeve</p>
            </blockquote>





	Choosing Hope

**Author's Note:**

> written as a late entry for LJ's 2011 Smoochfest

** Choosing Hope **

Harry forced a smile and pushed James higher in the swing. His four-year-old squealed in delight as he flew through the air. "Higher, Da," James cried out. "Wanna fly like Mummy." Harry closed his eyes quickly against the tears that formed at the mention of Ginny. His heart clenched tight—like a physical pain in his chest. It was still too soon, the hurt too close to the surface. It was just over six months since she had rushed out the door, smiling on her way to have lunch with Luna in Diagon Alley. Six months since his world had come crashing down.

Ginny wrote a column for _The Quibbler_. She had concentrated on professional Quidditch but had become fascinated with Winged Horse racing. She'd been following the circuit for nearly six months and was becoming enamoured with the sport. A new breeder out of Germany, Max Böckmann, had burst on the scene quite suddenly and Ginny was determined to get the first interview with him. She was on her way to pitch the idea to Luna. Shortly after she left, there had been a knock on their front door, Harry laughed as he called out, "Luna hated the idea that much? She didn't even buy you lunch...." His voice trailed off at the sight of the Aurors on the other side. Harry looked at the pocketbook one of them held in his hands and his vision blurred. He went weak in the knees and everything after that was a blur. "We regret to inform you...." "some sort of explosion" "...it was over before anyone knew what was happening" "if it's any consolation, she went quickly and didn't suffer."

Harry tried to pull himself together. James was calling out to him. "Da? Da? Make me fly!" Plastering a smile on his face, he slowed the swing to a stop, lifted James from the swing and set him on the ground. "Time to go, Jamie. Oh now don't make that face. I promised you time at the park and you promised me you'd nap." 

Jamie began to howl, rising from the early warning of a child's petulant whine to the dangerous crescendo of despair. Harry wondered how one small child could make so much noise. "Stop it," he hissed, swinging his son up onto his hip. "People are staring!" They left the play park in a rush, but not before Harry noticed Draco Malfoy standing with his son on the other side of the carousel, his eyes bright with amusement.

By the time they arrived home, Jamie had calmed down. Harry washed Jamie's face and hands and set him on his booster seat at the table, ignoring his son's scowl. He peeled a banana, setting it down and groaning as Jamie grabbed smashed the fruit before scooping it up and licking it off his fingers. "Jamie, Jamie, Jamie," Harry lamented. "I don't understand how one small boy can constantly have such a dirty face and sticky fingers." He made a game of washing his son and when he finished he carried Jamie to his bed and settled him in for a nap. 

Harry went to the front room and fell gracelessly on the couch, throwing an arm over his eyes. He was exhausted. Ginny always had plenty of energy, even after a day of running after James. She always knew just the right words to say to make Jamie laugh, or settle down, or stop crying. Ginny could have stop Jamie's park-side outburst with a glance or a glare. 

"I can't do this, Gin," he muttered. "You were so good at knowing exactly what Jamie needed or just how to coax him into doing what you wanted. I'm utter rubbish at it." 

Theirs hadn't been a conventional marriage. It was happy and Harry had been contented enough. Ginny was a devoted wife and mother and in their own way, they did love each other. But after James had been born, they settled into a routine that was more of a friendship than a marriage. Harry worked as a freelance Curse-Breaker. He loved the freedom to pick and chose when he went to work, and it made it easy for him to be home with Jamie. It also allowed Ginny the time and freedom to do research and write her articles for _The Quibbler_. But now it made him wonder if he missed the things Ginny did for him and Jamie...more than Ginny herself.

He sat up quickly and threw a pillow across the room. He wasn't sure how long he'd sat there, staring into the empty fireplace, but when it finally registered that Jamie was crying for him, the shadows in the room were long in the afternoon sun. With a sigh, he pushed himself off the couch and moved down the hall to Jamie's room....to begin the evening battle of dinner, a bath and bedtime.

oo00oo

Several weeks later found Harry and Jamie back at the park. They spent most of the afternoon enjoying the unusually warm fall weather. Harry brought sandwiches and crisps, along with small pieces of apples. While they sat on the blanket enjoying their meal, Harry noticed Draco Malfoy and a small, blond child entering from the south end of the park. He assumed it was Malfoy's son from the shade of his hair and the pointed features that matched Malfoy's. He watched with interest as Malfoy followed his son from one play thing to the next and couldn't help but notice how well Draco looked in a pair of faded Muggle blue jeans and an Aran wool jumper.

Harry knew the exact moment Malfoy caught him staring. He saw the grin slowly cross Malfoy's face and Harry felt his face heat up. He stood and quickly packed their lunch remains into his rucksack and turned to get Jamie.

"Come on, Jamie," Harry called towards the sandbox. He groaned inwardly at the sight of his son covered from head to toe in sand. "It's straight into the tub with you, young man." 

Apparently Jamie did not think this was a good idea at all. His tiny face screwed up and he let out a howl that would put a werewolf to shame. 

"Nooooooo!!" he bellowed.

"James Sirius, stop that this minute," Harry said, frustration creeping into his voice. "It's time to go home and you need a bath."

"Don't wanna," Jamie cried, flopping on the grass and kicking his legs. "You can't make me!"

Harry looked around the park—too many Muggles to use magic to quiet his son or to Appparate home. He took Jamie by the arm and attempted to lift him to his feet.

"I want my Mummy," Jamie cried, tears mixing with the sand on his face. "Mummy would let me stay! You're mean!"

Harry gasped, sinking to the ground next to his son. "Please, Jamie, just come home with me." He worked hard to control his breathing, fighting the tears that stung in his eyes, wishing desperately that he could just disappear. Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up into the face of the last person he wanted to see right then, Draco Malfoy.

"If you've come to tell me what a horrible parent I am...save your breath, Malfoy," Harry said in irritation. "I'm already well aware."

Draco shook his head and knelt down next to Jamie, who was still crying and pounding his feet in the sand. "Young man," he said sternly, "stop that this instant."

Jamie stopped mid-rant and looked up at Draco, his eyes blinking and his brow furrowed. A second later, his face pinched. "I want my Mummy."

Draco leaned closer to Jamie, his voice soft. "I understand you want your Mummy. I imagine your father wishes she could be here, too, don't you think?" He gave Harry a quick glance. "Now stand up and let me brush off your pants, and perhaps we can persuade your father that you might be worth keeping after all."

Harry watched, amazed, as Jamie rose to his feet and Draco brushed most of the sand from his pants. Draco reached into his pocket and withdrew a pristine white handkerchief, shook it open and proceeded to gently wipe the young boy's face. 

Draco turned to Harry, who was still sitting on the ground, his mouth open. "Close your mouth, Potter, people will think you're touched." Draco laughed and had a smile on his face. Harry found it a bit endearing that the shape of Malfoy's face and his features softened when the smile was genuine and not a sneer.

"How did you do that?"

"Do what?" 

"He just stopped. I mean he stopped crying and asking for....well he stopped. How did you do it?"

Draco laughed and it occurred to Harry he'd never heard Malfoy laugh like that before. 

"Well I've had a bit of experience these past few years, but the real key is to never let them start. Distract them before they have a chance to throw a right strop."

"It's just...so hard."

Draco smiled slightly. "This, compared to other things you managed to accomplish, Potter, should be a piece of cake." He looked at Harry's devastated expression and patted his shoulder. "Trust me; it gets easier."

Harry felt like a fish out of water. He knew he was looking at Malfoy as if the man had grown a second head, but he couldn't stop himself. This calm, assured Draco Malfoy unnerved him. He took Jamie by the hand, mumbled his thanks to Draco and left the park.

oo00oo

"It was completely surreal, Hermione."

Harry reached into the cabinet and brought down a mug. He set it on the table in front of Hermione, next to a plate of scones, and sat across from her. "There I am, one minute, listening to my son tell me that he wants his mum ... and the next minute, Draco Malfoy is calming him down like it's something he does every day."

Hermione poured some tea into each of the mugs. "Well, not completely surprising, of course. He has been caring for his son alone."

"Alone?" 

"He's divorced. His wife left him about..." Her lips pursed in concentration. "Nearly three years ago, I think. Quite ugly, as I recall."

Harry was surprised. "How do you know these things? I didn't think gossip was something you listened to."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "It was all over _The Prophet_. Luna even put a small article in _The Quibbler_. Honestly, don't you ever read? At all?"

Harry looked back at her and smiled. "I read and we all know I run to _The Prophet_ for all the hard hitting news in the Wizarding world." 

"Oh shush, you. Quidditch scores do not count as reading," she teased. "Besides, I told you about it."

"You told me?" he repeated. 

"No, you most certainly didn't."

"I think you have a blind spot when it comes to Malfoy."

"I do not!"

"A blind-deaf-and-dumb thing, perhaps?" She gave him a sideways glance with a wink. "He had to drop out of the planning committee for the tenth anniversary Gala at the Ministry. Ringing any bells? They replaced him with Zacharias Smith." She rolled her eyes again. "Merlin, if there was ever a man who thought more of himself, I've no clue who it might be." 

Harry interrupted her, "Malfoy, Hermione, I'm asking about Malfoy."

She blushed lightly. "Right. As I recall, she had expected to live a life filled with parties and glamour."

"That sounds about right for Malfoy."

"Really? Have you _seen_ him out at any function?" Harry's silences confirmed that he had not. Satisfied, Hermione continued: "Well according to what Luna had told me, it wasn't exactly a love match. Malfoy only slept with her in order to produce an heir and then he never touched her. There were no parties or glamorous gowns and the only jewels she received were her wedding ring and some diamond earrings when Scorpius was born. It seems he actually preferred a quiet life all along, and after his son was born he became sort of a recluse."

"Okay, so she didn't get the parties she wanted," Harry said, confused. "That's no reason to divorce him, was it? Certainly she could have had parties anyway. She was the mistress of the Manor."

"I think she tried, but after several thwarted attempts she just gave up." Hermione shrugged. "Luna says one day Malfoy woke up to find divorce papers on the dresser and every trace of Astoria gone from the Manor."

"And she didn't take their son with her?"

Hermione's face grew dark. "Gave Malfoy sole custody and waltzed out of their lives. Rumour is she married some Italian Count. She got what she wanted —parties every night and no responsibilities."

"So he does know," Harry said half to himself. "Damn."

"He knows what?" Hermione asked. 

"Oh just a comment Malfoy made right after he calmed Jamie. He said he'd had some experience with tantrums in the past few years."

"I hear he's a completely devoted father. He resigned his post as the head of the Accidental Magic Reversal Squad. Before that he'd been their top Oblivator. But now he's happy taking care of Scorpius and running a small owl-order potions business."

"Hmmmm..." was Harry's only response. 

"You should get to know him," Hermione continued. "You're not so different, you know."

Harry's brow furrowed. "Pardon me? I must have been dreaming, because you _did not_ just say I was like Malfoy. Malfoy? The same person who insulted you and made my life miserable?"

"For the love of Merlin! We're not children anymore. I like to think we've all grown up, including you and Malfoy!" Hermione sighed expansively and took a sip of her tea. "I only meant that you've both lost your wives and are absolutely devoted fathers!"

Harry looked at her, his face etched with sadness. "It's not the same, Hermione. I didn't lose Ginny. She was taken from me. Malfoy's wife walked out. But she's still alive, somewhere." His voice hitched. "It's not at all the same."

"Oh, Harry, I didn't mean to upset you. I just think that it would be good for you to talk to someone who understands how hard it is to raise a child alone. Especially another man."

Letting out a deep breath, Harry spoke. "I know you didn't mean anything. It just still hurts, yeah? And I'm tired. I should get some sleep. Morning will be here soon and Jamie will want breakfast. He doesn't seem to notice that his dad wants to sleep." He gave a weak laugh.

Hermione stood. "Will you be all right? I could stay tonight and get up in the morning with Jamie."

"Thanks, but I'll be fine." Harry stood and gave her a tight hug. "Just feeling a bit sorry for myself. Go before your husband blames me for breaking up your marriage." 

She laughed and moved to the fireplace. "I'll stop by in a few days. Maybe Blaise and I can take you two out for supper."

"I'd like that." Harry watched as Hermione stepped into the Floo and disappeared into the green flames. Harry picked up their dishes and stacked them in the sink. "I'll do them in the morning," he said as he walked into the empty front room, over to the sideboard and poured himself a glass of brandy. Sitting on the couch he swirled his drink before taking a sip. He enjoyed the slight burn it left behind. He closed his eyes and felt much older than his twenty-five years.

_Harry opened his eyes and looked up in surprise as Ginny walked into the room._

_"Jamie is sound asleep. You must have worn him out at the park today." She took the glass from Harry's hand and took a sip, then sat on the arm of the couch, near his head, her hands combing through his dark locks._

_"He threw a bit of a tantrum today at the park," Harry said. "It was quite embarrassing, especially when Malfoy, of all people, came over to help and calmed him down."_

_Ginny smiled. "So Draco lives around here, does he? I knew he'd moved from the Manor, but wasn't sure where he settled. You'd do well to get to know him. Hermione's right. He'd be good for you."_

_Harry looked appalled. "Good for me? Are you kidding me? You're good for me."_

_"Yes, love, but I'm not really here now, am I?" Ginny said softly. "You need a friend. Someone you can relate to. Someone to spend time with."_

_"I have Hermione," Harry said incredulously. "I don't need anyone else."_

_"Oh Harry," Ginny said sadly. "You need more than Hermione in your life. She has Blaise. Ron's in Australia and even if he were here, he's not what you need. You need someone who knows you and won't let you wallow. You have so much to offer someone. I know you loved me and I loved you. But you have so much love to give. Don't keep it inside."_

_Harry was confused. "Are you telling me to get together with Malfoy? He's a bloke, in case that escaped your notice. And, not only that, we hate each other."_

_Ginny laughed. "The fact Draco is a man has not escaped my notice, darling, nor yours if you're honest with yourself. And I don't think you hate him as much as you'd like to think you do. What I am saying is don't close your mind to the possibilities. I'm quite certain that underneath all that animosity back at Hogwarts, if you really examined things, you'd find you've always been attracted to Draco. Given enough time, I'm sure you'll discover that you're a good match."_

_"A good what?"_

_"Just think about it." Ginny rose and kissed Harry gently on the cheek. "Think about becoming friends with Draco. Then promise me you won't close your mind to any possibilities."_

_She crossed the room and walked towards the front door._

_"Don't go!" Harry cried out._

_"Just promise me...." her voice faded and she disappeared from view_

Harry sat up with a start. "Ginny!" He stood quickly and rushed to the door, throwing it open and looking out into the dark night. He stared out, waiting for her to come back. Finally, he closed the door and turned back to look around the empty room, his gaze stopping when he saw his brandy glass on a table across the room from where he'd been sitting.

oo00oo

Over the next several weeks it seemed like Draco was everywhere Harry went. He saw him walking down Diagon Alley, Scorpius' hand in Draco's much larger one. He ran into them again in Flourish & Blotts. He had just purchased _Dragon Fire_ , the newest book in the Dragon Slayer children's series and the same one Harry was in line to purchase. It made him smile to think that their children both enjoyed the same books.

With each encounter, they shared a perfectly civil nod, but after two weeks of nodding, Harry decided it was silly that they didn't speak to each other. So when he and Jamie saw Draco and Scorpius as they entered Fortesque's one afternoon, he made a decision. Once they had their cups of ice cream, Harry led Jamie over to Draco's table.

"Hello," Harry said, his cheeks heating. "Mind if we join you?"

Draco looked up, surprised, but quickly replied, "We'd love that, wouldn't we Scorpius?"

Scorpius looked at Jamie and gave a small smile and a nod. 

 

Harry settled Jamie at the table beside Scorpius and gave him his ice cream before pulling up a chair next to Draco and dipping his spoon into his own small cup. He raised a bite to his mouth and moaned softly.

"That good?" Draco said with a smile.

Harry returned the smile. "Chocolate with peanut butter and chocolate chunks," he replied seriously. "Florean created it for me back before my fourth year and Foster makes it for me when we come in." He knew his blush had deepened.

Draco looked into Jamie's cup and shook his head. "Won't even share the secret blend with your own son? Pitiful Potter."

"I don't 'ike it," Jamie said around a large purple mouthful of ice cream. Some dripped onto his chin. "I 'ike the grape cow."

"Jamie," Harry said, wiping Jamie's face with a napkin. "Manners!"

"He's fine, Potter," Draco said. "You missed Scorpius' strawberry moustache earlier, along with the very large pink drops on his shirt."

Scorpius looked up from his nearly empty cup of ice cream. "Strawberry's the bestest."

"Best," Draco corrected gently.

Harry looked intensely at Scorpius' shirt. "I don't see any ice cream," he said, furrowing his brow.

"You can't tell me you've never heard of a handkerchief and a well-placed Cleaning Charm, Potter?" He pulled a pristine handkerchief from his pocket and shook it open with an exaggerated flick of his wrist.

"You have stock in a handkerchief company?" Harry said with a smile. 

"It's a sign of a civilized man, Potter. I doubt you own even one." He turned back to Jamie, dipped the edge of the white square in his water glass and wiped off Jamie's face. 

"Mummy used to spit on a na'kin," Jamie said as he squirmed out of Draco's reach.

"Charming," Draco replied sarcastically. "Let's try my way this time; okay, little man?"

Jamie giggled and sat still while Draco wiped his face clean and muttered a spell that had the ice cream drops vanishing into the atmosphere. 

Harry shook his head. "I don't understand." 

"You'll have to clarify a bit, Potter," Draco drawled, but the glance he sent Harry was amused. "I imagine there are a great number of things you _don't understand_. A smidgen of clarification would be most appreciated."

"It's just....well I....when I try...."

Draco leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, a smirk on his lips. "Well that certainly puts a light on things."

"Arggghhh....you are the most frustrating man on earth," Harry groaned, running a hand through his hair. "What I meant was how do you do that with Jamie?" He looked over at his son, who was involved in one of those _conversations_ with Scorpius that only very young children can understand. When I try to clean his face he squirms and wriggles and causes a scene. You just pull out this hankie and he sits as still as a stone."

"To your first point, I'm quite certain there are many more frustrating men on earth than me," he said with a grin. " And to your second, you're his father."

"Well spotted, Malfoy," Harry grumbled.

"Shall I continue or not?"

Harry looked down at the table and mumbled, "Sorry."

"My point is this; I'm guessing that before..." He glanced at Jamie and Scorpius. He paused, taking a moment to cast a Silencing Charm around himself and Harry before continuing. "...when there were two of you around you were more of the _fun_ parent and you left the discipline to his mother."

Harry nodded. Ginny had always been able to be stern with Jamie without it ever sounding as if she were angry with him. Harry had always been the one who was good for a tussle and a squeeze. It had worked for them.

"So what Jamie knows is daddy time is fun, not structured. Daddy didn't make him wash up or eat his vegetables. Daddy tossed him in the air and drove trucks around the house and gave him pony rides on his back."

Harry felt surprised at Draco's perception, but nodded in affirmation.

"The thing is," Draco continued, "you have to remember you're not the only one who had the rug pulled out from under him. He"—he gestured his head toward Jamie—"just doesn't know how to express what he's feeling. How he's feeling....so he does the only thing he can think of and that's disagree with you."

"But Scorpius doesn't do that to you? Did he when...when your wife left?"

"Our situations were completely different," Draco replied, his tone turning bitter. "My ex-wife was never a mother to Scorpius. He was nothing to her. So I never was placed in a position of changing roles. And before you ask, there's no quick-fix to this. It's takes time."

"So you're telling me I just have to deal with his tantrums?"

"Not at all." Draco replied. "I'm trying to help you understand where he's coming from. And to remember that the best way is to diffuse a situation before it happens. You know these things, use them. Don't go to the market when you know he's tired. Set the rules for going to the park. In time Jamie will learn what is and isn't acceptable behaviour." He raised the Silencing Charm when he saw the boys begin to move from their chairs.

Seconds later, Jamie bound from his seat and began to bounce at Harry's side. "Daddy! Scorp says I can come to his house 'n play!"

Harry grinned. "Oh he did, did he?"

"Yeah an' he said I can play with his puffskein n' he want to show me his broom! Can we, please, please, please?" The bouncing grew faster, along with his words. 

Harry began to answer when Draco cut in. "We'd love to have you both come to the house very soon, but not today."

Jamie's lip began to quiver and his eyes filled with tears. Draco tapped him on the nose. "Now wouldn't you rather visit when you can spend the whole day together and not just a short time before supper?"

Jamie nodded slowly. 

"I'll get in touch with your father and we can set up a play date for you two little hooligans."

"That sounds like a brilliant idea, doesn't it, Jamie?"

Draco gathered up his things and took Scorpius by the hand. "The invitation is for you both. I hope you'll join your son when he comes over."

Harry smiled, hoping he didn't like an awe-struck firstie. "Thanks, I'd like that." He collected their things, taking Jamie's hand in his and headed for home.

oo00oo

It had been over a week since Draco's invitation to have Jamie over to play and Harry was beginning to wonder if he'd just said it to appease his son. When the eagle owl tapped at his window late on a Wednesday evening, he rushed to the window and took the proffered missive. The owl flew off without waiting for a reply and caused Harry to become concerned all over again. He unrolled the parchment and began to read:

>   
> _Potter:_  
> 

>   
> _It occurred to me that I neglected to give you my mobile number, so I've sent it with Horace. With the neighbourhood we live in, I try to keep my Owl post to a minimum. I'm about to put Scorpius to bed, but would appreciate if you could call me in an hour so we can set up a play date for our boys._  
> 

>   
> _I fear Scorpius is going to combust if I don't set one up for this upcoming Saturday. I hope you and Jamie are available._  
> 

>   
> _DM_  
> 

Harry looked at the time and then at the neatly penned note and smiled in spite of himself. Malfoy may have only invited him along in case Jamie became upset, but for some reason it still gave him a warm feeling in his chest to know that he was included in the invitation.

Harry went to the kitchen and took a bottle of ale from the fridge. He opened it and took a long pull from it before moving back to the front room and settling into his favourite chair. Looking into the fire, he wondered why Malfoy hadn't just fire-called him. His thoughts were cut short by a shout from upstairs.

His heart leapt into his throat, and he rushed up to find Jamie sitting wide-eyed in his bed, large tears on his cheeks. 

"Jamie!" Harry cried out, rushing across the room and sitting next to his son. He pulled him into his arms and felt the small boy quivering. "What happened? Are you hurt?"

"The monster tried to get me," Jamie sobbed into his father's shoulder. "And I called an...and...," he gave a large sniffling sigh, "you din't come."

"Aw sweetheart, I'll always come when you call me. You know that." Harry spoke softly and ran his hand down Jamie's back. "Nothing in this world can keep me from you. Ever."

Jamie held on tightly, but his sobs subsided and finally they were just tiny snuffles against Harry's chest.

Harry stretched out and pulled Jamie down with him onto the bed. "How about I lie here with you until you fall back asleep?"

Jamie nodded and turned onto his side. Harry ran his hand through the soft hair until Jamie's breathing evened out and his body was lax in Harry's arms. He shifted the small boy onto the bed, covered him up and kissed the top of his head. He paused in the doorway watching Jamie sleep, his eyes catching the clock on the bedside table. Harry's eyes flew open wide when he saw the time. Nearly ninety minutes had passed since Draco had sent the Owl. He rushed downstairs and picked up his mobile off the table, flipped it open and quickly dialled the number from the parchment.

It rang several times and Harry was certain it was going to go to voice mail when he heard a click on the other end.

"Hullo," Draco said.

"It's me...Harry...," Harry said quickly.

"So I gathered. You're late," Draco replied. "Everything all right?"

Harry relaxed at the question and sat on the chair by the fire. "Jamie had a nightmare and it took a little longer than I expected to get him back to sleep."

"Ahhh," Draco responded. "Was it a bad one?"

Harry heard the concern in his voice and it made him smile. "Not really," he said sheepishly, "I think I might have dozed a bit when I was lying down on the bed with him."

Draco laughed and Harry joined in. "I can't believe I just admitted that to you."

"It must be my dazzling charm," Draco retorted and then coughed as if he changed his mind about what he was going to say next. "So are you and Jamie still willing to come over Saturday afternoon?"

Now it was Harry's turn to laugh. "Well let's just say if you hadn't contacted me today, I'd have been forced by a four-year-old to stake out the market until you showed up there and then been reduced to begging, on my son's behalf, to set up a time."

"Well we wouldn't want fuel the neighbourhood gossip mill, so I suspect it's just as well we set things up tonight and avoid that embarrassing scenario," Draco replied easily. "Although I might not be averse to seeing you on your knees."

Harry blinked in surprise, then gave an embarrassed cough. "Well, erm...right. So what time is good on Saturday?" He closed his eyes and willed the vision of himself on his knees in front of Malfoy to leave his head.

"Let's say about three in the afternoon. That way Scorpius can at least pretend to take a nap and I can get a few things done. We'll have tea. Does Jamie have any allergies?"

"None that I'm aware of. I notice you didn't ask about any I might have," Harry teased.

"I watched you eat for better than five years, Potter. As I recall there wasn't much you didn't eat."

Harry felt his face grow warm and was immediately happy they weren't face to face in the Floo. He jotted down the address Draco gave him on the parchment.

"Right," Harry replied, a bit unsure why the thought that Draco had watched him eat made him happy. "It's late and little boys get up early. I have your address and mobile number and now you have my mine. Feel free to call if you need to cancel or anything."

"We won't cancel," Draco replied confidently. "But I'll keep it in my contacts for the future."

"Sounds good. We'll see you Saturday afternoon." He paused for a moment. "And thanks, Jamie's nearly bursting at the thought of coming over."

"No problem," Draco answered smoothly. "Although I do hope his father is equally as excited. Good night, Potter."

He was gone before Harry had time to process his last comment.

oo00oo

Wednesday to Saturday turned out to be the longest few days Harry could remember. Between his alternating excitement and dread and Jamie's never-ending barrage of "it is Sat'day yet?" Harry nearly regretted making the plans.

Jamie was up nearly with the sun on Saturday and at first Harry shared in his anticipation of their afternoon. However, by the time Harry struggled to get Jamie to eat some lunch, he had decided there simply was not enough coffee in the world to stave off the exhaustion he was beginning to feel.

"Fabulous," he thought to himself. "We're going to make some impression. Jamie will be so crabby Scorpius will probably beg his father to send him home and I'll be falling asleep in my tea." That thought in mind, he carried a wriggling, objecting child to his room and laid Jamie on his bed. Harry toed off his trainers and crawled onto the bed next to him. "One hour, little man, and then we'll get up and have a wash and change our clothes to go to the Malfoy's, deal?"

Jamie pouted and rubbed his eyes. He was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow and Harry was grateful he'd fibbed about _the hour nap_ ; he was going to need every minute of the nearly two hours he'd allowed.

Sleep didn't come quite quickly for Harry, so after about ten minutes he went down to stretch out on the couch. Every time he closed his eyes, he imagined some sort of scenario for the afternoon involving Draco...no, Malfoy. They started out as simple discussions about children and Quidditch and then as he drifted off they became much more involved. He woke with a start and felt his face flush as he recalled that his dreams had been filled with hard bodies and inappropriate actions. He ran a hand through his hair and tried to ignore the throbbing in his groin. He sat up and pushed off the couch, heading towards the bath. 

He stripped off his clothes and left them in a pile on the floor, before reaching over to turn on the taps. Adjusting the water to just under scalding he stepped under the spray. Soap in hand he scrubbed his chest, trying to ignore the twinge he felt as he brushed over his erect nipples. 

"Fuck it," he mumbled and lathered up his hands. It had been quite some time since he'd even felt like wanking and decided there was no sense in letting a rare opportunity pass. When one had a four-year-old underfoot most of the time, there wasn't much opportunity for _pleasure_. He closed his eyes and imagined hands other than his own sliding across his chest. He tugged at a nipple, rolling it in his fingers and moaning quietly. He slid his hand to the other nipple, while running his free hand down over his abdomen. He grasped his erection and began to stroke slowly, while at the same time teasing and tweaking at his nipples. His hand moved up and down, up and down, twisting at the top and running a thumb over the tip. He shuddered and began to stroke faster, lifting a foot onto the side of the tub, his balls hanging heavy between his legs. He reached down to cup them, rolling them in his palm. 

His fingers tightened around his prick and his hand pumped faster. When he slid a soapy finger further back and around his furled skin, he felt a rush course through his body. As the finger slipped inside, his orgasm pulsed out. He stood there with his hand slowing, wringing out the last of his orgasm then leaned against the wall, his eyes closed. He rinsed his hands under the spray and then rubbed them over his face. He'd tried to imagine it was Ginny doing all those delicious things to him, but when he came the image that popped into his head was blond and definitely male.

"I am so screwed," he muttered aloud. With a deep sigh, he finished his shower and hurried to get dressed and then get Jamie ready. He pushed the last few minutes of inappropriate thinking out of his head and prepared for what he hoped wouldn't be an embarrassing afternoon.

Their visit to the Malfoy's was a success. Jamie and Scorpius had got on famously and even managed to convince their father's to join them in a game of hide-and-seek in Draco's magically enhanced backyard. They'd played in the fresh air for most of their visit before going inside for some hot chocolate and an assortment of biscuits. 

They'd rounded out the visit watching Scorpius and Jamie play Exploding Snap. Harry was surprised when he glanced at a clock on the mantle and realized it was nearly time for supper. The entire afternoon had been so enjoyable and relaxing, he wasn't sure he wanted it to end. 

"Well," Harry said standing. "I suppose we should be on our way. I'm sure you have plans for supper and I should get that one," he nodded towards his son, "out of here before he decides he likes it better than home." He gave a small laugh.

Draco stood slowly and moved towards the boys. He paused and turned back to Harry. "You're more than welcome to stay for supper. It's not terribly fancy. I made a large pot of beef stew yesterday, and there's more than enough for all of us." 

Harry hesitated, not because he didn't want to stay, but the thought of Draco cooking had his mind about to explode.

"You cook?" he said in surprise.

A slow smile crossed Draco's face and then he laughed aloud. "Of course I cook. Did you think food just appears here?"

Harry blushed. "I mean...don't you have House Elves for that?"

"Over the years I've found that doing things for myself can be quite enjoyable. And cooking isn't that far from potions, which is my livelihood, after all."

Harry was about to reply when he was interrupted by Jamie jumping up and down next to him. 

"Can we? Please? Please? Scorp heard his daddy ask us to dinner. Pleasepleaseplease?" Jamie was so excited his words came out in a rush, barely understandable.

"For those not fluent in _excited_ James Potter, that was my son begging me to let him, well us, stay for dinner." Harry said, giving his son a look of disapproval.

Draco hid a smile behind his hand. "The excited little boy I can handle, but Scorp? I believe I have some serious objections to that."

Scorpius moved to his father's side. "I t'ink it's cool," he said smiling brightly. 

Draco rolled his eyes. "Nevermind. If we're having guests, I'll need your help with the table, Scorpius."

Harry couldn't help but smirk at Draco's emphasis on his son's full name. "How about if we all help get things together. I can toss a pretty mean salad and Jamie has been known to get cups and flatware onto the table."

And just that simply, they all trooped to the kitchen and got their meal underway. When supper was over, Draco refused Harry's offer to help with the dishes. He glanced over to the table where the two boys were nearly asleep in their plates.

"I think you'd best get him home before you have to Apparate him out of here," Draco said. 

Harry looked over at his nearly sleeping son and winced. "Actually that might not be a bad idea. I might be too tired to drive home."

"Yes, brilliant plan," Draco said with a wry smile. "Apparate the two of you when you're exhausted. Perhaps St Mungo's will be able to unsplinch your parts after a fashion, Potter."

Harry laughed in spite of himself. "Okay that visual was enough to wake me up." He walked over to the table and picked up his son. "Come on champ, let's get you home and under the covers before your new friend finds out you snore like a Hippogriff."

"Do not," Jamie said sleepily. Harry ruffled his hair and slid his jacket around his shoulders, tucking his own under his arm. 

"Thanks for everything," Harry said at the door. "We'd like to return the favour next weekend, if you're available."

Draco paused, as if considering. "I can't think of anything pressing on our social calendar. We can settle the details when we're all a bit more awake."

Harry nodded and bundled Jamie off to the car for their short drive home.

For the next month, they alternated play dates at each other's homes, often with an invitation to supper included.

In late November, as Harry and Jamie's Saturday to host the Malfoy's approached, Harry found he wasn't feeling very well and by the time Saturday arrived he had a full-blown cold, complete with stuffy nose and a cough that wouldn't quit. 

He managed to feed Jamie breakfast and settled him in front of the telly before picking up his mobile and dialling Draco's number.

He'd made his apologies for the short cancellation notice, but Draco told him he could hear how miserable Harry must be feeling. A little over an hour later, Harry had cleaned up the dishes and just settled under a blanket on the couch with a mug of tea, when there was a knock at the door. 

Harry sighed expansively and heaved himself off the couch. He opened the door, prepared to tell whomever it was to bugger off. 

The fact that Draco and Scorpius were at the door left him speechless. "Did I forget to call you?" Harry croaked out, when he found his voice. "I swore I'd called."

"Well aren't you just the picture of health," Draco said, a twist to his lips. He gave Harry a gentle push. "Get out of the doorway, Potter," he said pulling the door shut behind him. "I'd say you'll catch your death, but given that you already appear to be headed in that general direction..." 

"Har, har," Harry said, sneezing into his sleeve. "You're hysterical. Really what are you doin' here?" He had a horrible image of how he must look to Draco; red-eyed and nosed, hair standing up in worse chunks than usual.

Draco pulled a small velvet bag out of his pocket. He reached inside and was pulling out a vial when Jamie skidded into the hallway on his sock-covered feet. 

"Scorp!" he cried excitedly. "I din't fink you were coming!"

"They weren't supposed to," Harry said, giving Malfoy a pointed look. "I didn't want them to get sick."

"You two go in and watch the telly for a bit whilst we chat here," Draco said ruffling Jamie's hair. 

"As happy as I am to see you two, I was serious," Harry said with a sniff. "You don't want this...whatever it is."

"We won't. Scorpius and I take a cold and flu potion as a preventative every year. But you, clearly, do not." He pulled three vials from the bag. "Take the violet one now and the orange one in three hours. The blue one is for when you wake up in the morning."

"I can't sleep the next twenty-four hours away," Harry protested.

"And that's the second reason for our unannounced visit," Draco said with a smile. "We've come to rescue young Jamie and take him home with us for the night. Give you time to rest and recover without having to be at the beck and call of a demanding preschooler."

Harry's brow furrowed and his eyes narrowed. "Take Jamie? But he's never been anywhere without me."

At that moment, Jamie came sliding back into the hallway. "Daddy! Scorp says I can s'eep at his house tonight!" He began bouncing up and down on his toes. "Can I p'ease, p'ease, p'ease?"

Harry pulled his hoodie tighter around him and sighed. "'M not gonna win this one, am I?"

"No." Draco reached out and took Harry by the arm, guiding him back to the couch. "Potter...Harry, let me do this for you."

Harry sat on the couch and wondered what alternate reality he'd fallen into as Draco tucked a quilt around him and handed him the violet potion. "Drink it all," he encouraged. "It's flavoured."

Wrinkling his nose, Harry raised the vial to his lips and tipped it back. He licked his lips, opening and closing his mouth. "Tastes like blueberries and grapes."

"Excellent," Draco laughed. "I'd have been worried if you'd said it tasted like bananas."

"Prat," Harry retorted, but there was no venom in his tone. "Can you make sure Jamie Floos me tonight to say goodnight?" He felt the effects of the potion already moving through his body, making him tired and groggy.

Draco lined up the other two potions on a note he'd pulled from his pocket. "I've left the instructions for the other two potions written here. If you don't take either until morning, that's fine. But don't take them together." Draco looked at Harry. He was already curling under the blankets, eyes closing. "Can you remember that?"

"Morning okay," Harry mumbled, "but not together. Kinda like us...not together."

He was so far gone he barely heard the door open and close.

oo00oo

"Harry." Harry heard Hermione call out. He blinked his eyes groggily as she stepped through the Floo. "Jamie, where are you?" She hurried to the couch where Harry was rubbing his eyes.

"Hermione?" He squinted at her. "What're you doing here? Is that Blaise with you?" He bolted into a sitting position, grabbing his head. "Oh that wasn't smart. What's wrong? What happened to Jamie?" He tried to stand, but he swayed unsteadily and sat back down. "Oh Merlin! Is he okay? I should have known better. No, no, no," he said in a rush of words. 

Hermione looked at him, hands on hips and frowned. "What are you on about? We just came over to see if we could take Jamie for the night so you could get some rest. You sounded terrible on the phone last evening."

"Where is the little bugger?" Blaise said smiling. "Don't mind me, but I'm going to stay back here out of germ range, if it's all the same."

Harry looked at them, face scrunched in apparent confusion. "Nothing's wrong with Jamie?"

Now it was Hermione's turn to adopt a look of confusion. "Why would anything be wrong with Jamie, unless he's picked up your cold already. Is he in his room?"

Comprehension finally dawned, and Harry fell back against the couch. "He's not here. He's at Malfoy's and when both of you showed up...and woke me, I thought something had happened to him."

"He's at Draco's?" Hermione asked. 

"The boys were supposed to have a play date here," Harry said pulling the blankets up around his shoulders, coughing into his fist. His chest still ached, but not as badly as it had earlier. "But I called Malfoy early this morning and cancelled. Next thing I knew, they were here and Draco was pouring some potion in me and packing Jamie off to spend the night with Scorpius."

Hermione looked at Blaise and then back to Harry. "He's spending the night. At Draco's. Without you," she said slowly, as if giving the words a chance to be absorbed by her brain. "But we came to take him for you."

Blaise reached over, stretching his arm and not leaving his spot, to pat her on the arm. "Sweetie," he said softly, "take a breath."

She turned and looked at him and blinked. "Right. I was just surprised." She looked at Blaise hovering by the fireplace. "Oh for the love of Merlin! Move over here. If he's contagious, you were covered in germs the second you stepped in the room!"

"Crap!" Blaise responded, but moved next to his wife. "So, Potter," he said picking up one of the potion vials from the table. "You must really rate."

Hermione looked at him quizzically and Harry shook his head. "Huh?" they said in unison.

"Are you serious? Do you have any idea how much Draco charges for his potions?" Blaise rolled his eyes at their blank stares. "He doesn't brew mass quantity potions. He brews each potion based on the individual it's for. They're more effective and he gets paid a ridiculous amount for each one. These three would probably run you close to ten Galleons."

"Ten?" Harry started. 

"Galleons?" Hermione finished.

"You do know it's a bit creepy when you two do that, don't you?" Blaise said with amused frustration.

Hermione kissed him on his cheek. "Sorry...too many years as his best friend, I guess."

"How can you tell these aren't just some potions he keeps around the house for when Scorpius doesn't feel well."

Blaise crossed his arms on his chest. "Seriously? Do you honestly think that Draco would give his only child something strong enough for an adult? Besides, he would have brewed it for you, Harry."

"So, you're saying he only brews on a per person basis." Hermione said. 

"When I had that bug last spring, what did Draco say when I Owled him about a potion?" Blaise asked.

Hermione's brow creased in thought, then she started, her eyes opening wide as she stared at Blaise. 

"Exactly," he said with a nod.

"Exactly what?" Harry asked. 

Hurrying over to the couch, Hermione sat next to Harry. "You remember when Blaise was sick this past spring? Impossible patient, but then most men are..."

"Hermione!" Blasie and Harry said together. 

"Right, sorry," she continued. "He was certain he was dying so he Owled Draco and asked him for a Stomach-Settling potion and one for his headache."

"Is there a point in this story?" Harry wondered.

Hermione glared. "The _point_ is...Draco Owled back and told Blaise that he didn't just brew _plain, ordinary cold remedies_ and that if that was all that was bothering him to have his wife pop down to the Apothecary and pluck them off the shelf."

"Okay....so he didn't brew you a cold potion. How does that become 'you must rate'?" Harry inquired.

Hermione looked at Harry and sighed. "He brewed them. For you."

Harry sat for a moment, pondering her words before his eyes opened wide. "Oh...oh....damn." He leaned back against the couch. "No, he probably just did that because Jamie and Scorpius are friends."

"Or he did it because he wants to be more than just friends." Blaise smirked.

"In case it's slipped your notice, Zabini, I'm a bloke and clearly Draco prefers women," Harry replied.

"And some people hit the bludger both ways," Blaise shot back.

"Draco?" Harry said in disbelief.

"Or you, for that matter," Hermione countered. 

"Hermione...." Harry warned.

"Oh for the love of Merlin, Harry. Do you think anyone cares that you fancy both men and women? It's not like you're the first one on the planet." She looked at Harry's face and recognized the sadness in it. "And it doesn't mean you loved Ginny any less if you fall in love again."

"I'm not in love!" Harry cried out. He looked at Hermione. "I know you mean well, but this really isn't the time for this conversation. I feel like I've been run over by a thestral. I just want to talk to Jamie for a bit and then take this potion and sleep until next week."

Hermione stood, leaned over and kissed Harry on the forehead. "Of course. Let me get Jamie for you."

Several minutes later Jamie's voice filled the room with his excited stories about playing games and colouring. He talked a mile-a-minute, leaving Harry no chance to get a word in. Finally Jamie said "Scorp is 'aiting for me, bye Daddy. I love you." And he was off. 

A moment later Draco's face appeared in the fire. "Feeling better, Potter?" He looked around and saw Hermione sitting on the floor near the couch, Blaise next to her. "Oh," he said shortly. "Apparently you are if you're entertaining."

"Don't get your knickers in a twist, Draco," Blaise said with a smile. "Hermione knew Harry was under the weather so we popped over to take the ankle-biter for a few hours to give him a break. But you'd already dropped off your goodies and taken Jamie."

Harry thought he saw a flush rise on Draco's cheeks. "Thanks for the potions, by the way," he said quickly. "As soon as we're done here, I'm booting these two out so I can take the orange potion and go back to sleep." He leaned closer to the fire. "You'll be sure to call me if Jamie wakes in the night. Sometimes he has dreams...." 

Draco smiled knowingly. "I understand and I swear I'll contact you if he needs you."

"Thanks, Malfoy." Harry said.

"You could always call us, Draco," Hermione interjected. "You know, if Jamie wakes."

"Thanks," Draco replied, "but if he wakes he'll want his father. I'll get a hold of Harry somehow."

"I'll bet you will," Blaise murmured under his breath.

Draco glared, but said his good-byes and the fire settled back down to a low burn.

Hermione made sure Harry drank his entire potion before ushering Blaise toward the Floo. "Sleep well and sweet dreams," she called out as she disappeared into the green flames.

oo00oo

Harry swatted at the air, attempting to bat the fly that was buzzing around. The buzzing stopped and he pulled the quilt up under his chin. He was just drifting off again when the buzzing returned. He sighed and batted at the air before sitting bolt upright, his heart beating hard against his ribs. He'd just realized that it wasn't a fly...that his mobile was buzzing against the wood of the table. He reached over and squinted at the display. Twelve missed calls. He groaned and then jumped to his feet.

"Jamie!" he cried out. "Shit!" He flipped the phone open and checked the missed call list. All from Draco's cell. He looked at the Floo. Warded closed. "When did I do that?" he wondered aloud as he hit the redial button.

"Malfoy?" he all but shouted into the phone when he heard the click of it being answered. 

"Finally up are we, Sleeping Beauty?" Draco teased.

"What's wrong with Jamie?" Harry asked.

"Why would anything be wrong?"

"You've called me twelve times," Harry said. He was holding the phone with his shoulder and hopping on one foot in an attempt to get the other into one of his trainers.

"Potter..." Draco said calmly. "Stop and look at a clock. It's nearly noon. Your son is fine. He just can't figure out why he couldn't talk to you this morning and has insisted I call you every half hour since breakfast."

Harry sat down on the couch, deflating like a balloon with a hole in it. "He's okay?"

"Of course he's all right," Draco replied. "I'd have taken down your wards to get you if I thought Jamie was upset."

Harry smiled into the phone. "Thanks, I'm just a little disoriented." He paused before continuing. "I was so sound asleep that I thought there was a fly buzzing around." He gave a small laugh.

Draco laughed quite loudly. "Please don't tell me you were swatting at nothing..." He was laughing so hard he could barely catch his breath.

"Stuff it, Malfoy!" Harry retorted, but laughed as he said it. His laughed turned into a cough and soon he was out of breath for another reason. 

"Unward your Floo," Draco instructed. "I'll bring Jamie through and another potion for that cough."

"As long as it doesn't knock me on my arse, like that orange one did," Harry said as he picked up his wand and wove an intricate pattern towards the fireplace. "Okay – it's open. Thankfully I just set a standard blocking ward in my sleep. Never done that before," he said in confusion. "I wonder why I did last night."

"Please tell me you're not expecting me to figure out that Gryffindor brain of yours," Draco laughed. "Hanging up now, Potter, Jamie and I will be through in five minutes."

Harry hit the _end_ button on his phone and snapped it shut. He sat on the couch and remembered a dream he had last night. He'd been chasing something he couldn't catch. He couldn't see what it was – but he remembered he wanted to catch it. But every time he'd get close enough to grab hold...he'd stop and the mystery figure would be just out of his reach again.

He shook his head to clear it and heard Jamie calling out before he was even out of the Floo.

"Daddy!" he cried, running to Harry and jumping onto his lap.

"Hey, Champ," Harry said ruffling Jamie's hair. "Did you have fun?"

"I had the bestest time ever!" Jamie said animatedly. He launched into to a five-minute tale of all the wonderful things he'd done with Scorpius.

"Well that sounds amazing," Harry told Jamie. His gaze moved from Jamie to Draco. "Thanks so much for taking him, it really helped. Although I think his Auntie Hermione won't be too pleased about being replaced as the favourite _sleep-over_ house."

Draco laughed and moved over to Harry. "Then Auntie Hermione should provide him with a playmate. And Blaise doesn't count." He held out a vial of neon green potion. Harry wrinkled his nose. "Are all of your potions so...colourful?"

"Are you complaining?"

"No, no..." Harry hesitated. "They taste better than any I've ever had before, but they're so bright."

Draco shrugged. "I like colourful things. Potions don't need to be dull and boring. Nor do they need to taste foul. I've found people are more likely to take the potions they need if they look as good as they taste."

"Should I take that one too?" Harry uncorked the green vial as he gestured with his head at the blue vial on the table.

"Half should be good," Draco replied. "The green is more for your cough and the blue is a general cold and fever potion. Are you certain you're well enough to watch Jamie? It wouldn't be any trouble for him to stay another night."

"Thanks," Harry said. "But I'm feeling much better and I can nap when I put Jamie to bed."

Draco nodded and headed toward the Floo. 

"Wait," Harry said suddenly. "Where's Scorpius?"

"I had one of Mother's elves come over while I brought Jamie home. I didn't think you needed them running around in circles. Together they have an over-abundance of energy."

Jamie grinned.

"Well, thanks again," Harry said. He nudged Jamie in the side. "What do we say to Mr Malfoy?"

"Thank you, Mr Malfloy, for letting me play with Scorpius and putting up with me." He grinned so wide, all his teeth showed.

"You're quite welcome, young man," Draco gave a mock bow. "And you're welcome to come to our home whenever you please." With that, Draco tossed some Floo powder into the fire and was gone in a green blaze. 

Harry tucked Jamie under the blanket, wrapping his arms around his waist. He rubbed his nose into Jamie's hair, and even with his stuffy nose was able to make out the beloved scent of little boy. "Did you have fun at the Malfoy's?"

"Mmm hmmm."

"Well that doesn't sound good." Harry tickled Jamie's tummy. "Did you miss me so much you just couldn't stand it?"

Jamie giggled, then caught Harry's hand. They lay together and settled into companionable silence.

"I talked to mummy last night," Jamie said calmly.

Harry stiffened. "Beg pardon?"

Jamie twisted the blanket in his fingers. "Are you mad?"

Harry swallowed. "No, sweetie. You just surprised me," he took a deep breath. "Tell me about it."

"Well I waked up and I was a little bit scared." He looked up at Harry. "Cuz I din't 'meber where I was." He leaned his back against Harry's chest. "But then I knew I was at Scorp's house, but I couldn't get back to sleep. So I took my blanket and went to that big window he has in his room. I climbed up and sat there. It was real quiet and I was thinkin' I maybe wanted to go home or wake up Scorp."

"You could have come home," Harry said softly.

"Yeah, but I was havin' fun. 'Cept for right then. I closed my eyes for a minute and then I felt somebody patting my back. When I looked up, mummy was sitting next to me."

Harry struggled to keep his voice even. "Did she say anything?"

"Yep," Jamie said with a smile. "We talked for a long time. I told her I really missed her but I felt better now cuz my friend Scorp din't have a mummy either. Mummy said it was okay for me to miss her and she missed me too. I told her you had a new friend. That was okay, wasn't it?"

Harry nodded.

"And mummy said it was good you had a friend cuz you needed somebody like Mr Malfloy." Jamie snuggled down under the covers. 

Harry bit on his lower lip, fighting tears. "Was that all?"

Jamie yawned. "She said she couldn't come to see me again but she'd always be here." He patted his chest just over his heart. "And she told me to tell you that it was time to say bye and for you to move on. Are we moving, daddy?"

Harry shook his head and pulled his son close and before closing his eyes. It was a long time before he fell into a restless sleep.

oo00oo

Harry found himself haunted by the words Ginny had said to Jamie. As much as 'moving on' sounded like the sensible thing to do, his conscience kept whispering "it's too soon..." And so, torn, he hesitated.

He made excuses not to go on the pre-arranged play dates, no matter how Jamie whined. It had become so bad that he went to the market either very early or very late, convincing Hermione to stay with Jamie so he could rush through the store. It was shortly after one of those late night market visits and Hermione was watching Harry put his groceries away. 

"Why exactly are you avoiding Draco?" Hermione asked.

"I'm not."

"Right. And I'm singing lead vocals with the Wierd Sisters next week," she countered.

"Har, har, aren't you just full of yourself?" 

She wrapped her hands around her mug and took a sip of her tea. "I'm serious, Harry. Blaise had lunch with Draco the other day and the man is a wreck. He can't figure out what he's done to make you hate him."

Harry sat down with a sigh. "I don't hate him." He waved his hand over his mug and steam rose. "I just can't see him."

"Well that's as clear as mud."

"It's complicated."

"It's complicated," Hermione parroted back.

"Yes, polly-parrot, it's complicated."

She rose from the table and took the kettle from the flame. She put some tea leaves into the pot, poured the water inside and left it to steep. "I've all the time in the world. Explain it to me."

Harry ran a hand through his hair. "Remember I told you Ginny appeared to Jamie and told him it was time for me to move on, right?"

Hermione nodded.

"I can't," he said softly. "It's too soon."

Now it was Hermione's turn to sigh. "Harry I know it's been less than a year and some people might think you need longer to grieve. But even Molly has said she'd love to see you with someone." She reached across the table and took his hand. Looking into his eyes, she smiled. "No one can tell you what's right or wrong. Or when it's too soon or it's been long enough. It's different for everyone. I'm not saying you need to move in together or anything." She laughed when Harry rolled his eyes at her.

"But I am saying you need to be careful. No matter how much Draco likes you and wants to spend time with you; in the end...he's just as vulnerable as you are. Like anyone, he'll only be rejected so many times before he stops trying." She looked up at Harry, clasping his hand tighter. "What if he is the _one_? "

"The _one_?" Harry said tersely. "I thought I had the _one_ , Hermione. I'm not even sure what I feel for Malfo...Draco."

"How does he make you feel?" Hermione asked.

"Feel?"

She blushed. "When Blaise first asked me out, you know I told him no at least fifty times. But every time he was near me, my heart would race and when he'd smile....I felt like I was the most important thing in the world to him."

"I'm not a girl, Hermione. I don't need Draco to smile at me to make me feel good."

"That's not what I'm saying. The point is that when he took my hand I felt like everything was right. It felt right."

Harry looked pensive.

"Now how does Draco make you feel and why are you afraid?"

"He makes me hope," Harry's voice was barely above a whisper. "And it scares me to hope again."

"Hope is a very good thing, Harry. Without it there really isn't much point to living."

"I know," Harry said. "And that scares me too."

"I think it's time for you to stop being afraid." Hermione stood and put her mug in the sink. She yawned and gave Harry a hug. "Give him a chance; give yourself a chance to be loved. But don't wait too long. You can't expect him to wait for you forever."

"I'll call him, I promise." He gave Hermione a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks for always being the one who isn't afraid to let me know when I'm out of line."

"I'll always be there for you, you know that. Call him." And with that she tossed a handful of powder into the fire and went home.

ooOOoo

Another two weeks passed and Harry still had not contacted Draco. Hermione was barely speaking to him and Jamie had assured him several times a day that he was the _worstest daddy ever_. Jamie had seen Scorpius at Hermione's house a few days before and now missed his friend more than ever.

It was the middle of December and Harry had just hung the last of the garland on the mantle. Jamie was out Christmas shopping with his Auntie Hermione and Uncle Blaise. He looked over at the tree, the fairy-lights twinkling in the shadows of the late afternoon. He was feeling melancholy and was about to give in and call Draco when someone pounded on his door. 

"For the love of Merlin," he called out hurrying to the door, "hold on." He opened the door and stood completely still looking into the flushed face of Draco Malfoy.

"Malfoy."

"Give the man a Galleon, he remembers my name," Draco said. "Have you recovered?"

"Recovered?" Harry asked. "Recovered from what?"

"The obvious brain injury that has prevented you from returning my phone calls or from keeping our children's scheduled play dates," Draco said, his voice tight. 

Harry frowned. "I didn't have a brain..." The colour rose up his neck and settled on his cheeks. "Erm...right."

"Well I can't think of any other reason for you to be so blatantly rude, can you?"

Harry paused. He thought about what Ginny had told him...had told Jamie. He thought about his conversation with Hermione. He took a deep breath and made a decision. "I was afraid."

"Of me?" 

"No, not that." Harry stepped closer to Draco. "Of being happy again."

Draco studied his face, understanding dawning across his features. 

"There's nothing wrong with being happy," he said softly. "I think after all this time maybe you and I deserve a bit of happiness." Draco took another step closer. 

Harry swallowed. "But what if… something happens. What if I let myself care, let myself feel happiness, and it's ripped away from me again." His eyes began to ache, and he blinked quickly. "I don't think I could bear it, Draco. Not again."

Draco reached out tentatively. When Harry didn't pull away, he took his hand. "I can't promise you that nothing will ever happen," he said softly. "I don't know what the future holds. But I know, against all odds—" he smiled faintly, "—I like you."

Harry took a deep breath. "I like you, too."

"So let's just see what happens, all right?" He took another step, until Harry could feel the warmth of Draco's long, lean body. His own body responded to it, and he felt himself lean forward slightly, nearer the seductive warmth. "We'll take it as slow as you want. But if you don't let yourself try, you'll never know what this may become. And I'd like to know – wouldn't you?"

Harry nodded and Draco slipped his arm around his waist, stepping in until their bodies were flush together from their chests to their knees. He was all hard planes and angles, slightly taller than Harry, and there was a leashed strength in his arms that felt right. Harry had never been held by a man, but from the way his heart was racing and his body was responding, it was something he'd craved without even knowing it. Draco held him, just held him, and Harry pressed his face against Draco's throat. His skin was smooth and fragrant, and Harry inhaled deeply.

"I want..." Harry murmured against Draco's neck. 

"What do you want?" Draco asked, his voice breathy. 

"You..." Harry whispered, his hands sliding around Draco's waist. "I want you...this...us..."

"Finally," Draco replied, leaning in and capturing Harry's mouth in a bruising kiss. 

Harry hesitated for the briefest moment before he kissed him back, his hands spreading to hold on. When he felt Draco's tongue gently flutter against his lips, he parted them and Draco slipped his tongue into Harry's mouth with a grateful sigh. Draco tasted of brandy and something else, and it took Harry a moment to identify what it was. When he did, his heart lifted. _Hope_ he decided. Draco tasted like hope and he was ready to drink his fill.

finis


End file.
